I've never done this before but the comments left on Friday's post were really thought provoking so I think they are worth sharing. I've taken snippets from many of the comments and added them below. If you're interested in the blog from which the writer came, click on the closing quotation mark at the end of the quote. (and if i did quote you and you want me to take it down, let me know) If there is not a link, then I don't have one to your blog.
Thanks for being such an interesting group of people!
"The problem is when you are young, you haven't actually attempted to do it and you haven't experienced the exhaustion yet. I think the younger you are, the more likely you will feel offended by the article. Try asking working women in their thirties and forties what they think of the article."
"What you need to realize is that everyone has different priorities. And throughout one's life those priorities may change. The concept of "having it all" boils down to what your own perception perceives of 'having it all'."
"Sure, men had careers AND children. But under what circumstances did they have children? They had a housewife to do the majority of childcare and household management and didn't get to spend nearly as much time with their own children as their wives did."
"The author is forgetting a very valid point in that the partner we choose to spend our life with will also help us balance everything."
"I don't think its impossible to be married with children and have a successful career, but the reality is it's likely you won't be able to devote the time you want to every area of your life."
"The real point is that we can "HAVE ANYTHING", but that doesn't mean we can have everything. ...Let's stop being offended by people who caution us not to take everything on, and celebrate with eachother that we live in a time that we have choices. And with that freedom comes the task of actually making choices... where do we spend our time?"
"...before I use to wonder if it was possible, and now I feel it definitely is."
"I want it all. Why is that such a bad aspiration?"
"As for being married and having children as a men - (i) unfortunately, these men often are not involved in their children's lives (the depiction of business men in the movies asking his assistant to buy his children/spouses gifts isn't fiction); and (ii) there are still many women out there willing to be stay at home mothers/wives and support these men - unfortunately for us females, it's still very hard to find a man who is willing to do the same."
PS from me: I really do enjoy intelligent discourse like this - Makes studying for this darn bar exam bearable!
6 hours ago
I think the pressure to "have it all" gets to a lot of women. Like I said in my previous comments it's absolutely possible to have a successful career and be married with children, but there are times one is going to have to come before the other. You'll need help. You might miss a school play or miss a day of work when your child is sick (something a male co-worker might not have to do). In my view this is just reality, it's impossible to do everything perfectly all the time, although that's no reason not to strive for the best of what you want.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Loved that Vanity Fair quote--so true!
interesting feedback. thanks for sharing. I read your friday post but was not sure what i thought or felt so I refrained from commenting. It's a tough topic to broach...
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you posted some of the comments! I especially like the one that says the concept of "having it all" boils down to your perception of having it all. So true!
ReplyDeleteConnie says it well. Balancing everything all the time is just not feasible but still possible in different shades. But it is more bearable with help (whether that infringes on how "good" a mother you are is another debate).
ReplyDeleteI always heard that a woman's perspective may change when she has a family. Inevitably, we are so much more connected to the children initially (and have the time off). What we choose later is within out own prerogatives and perspectives at that time.
thanks for sharing the comments, since i didn't get a chance to read/respond earlier. my feeling is that different ppl have different levels of stress that they can handle and i could not handle trying to have a serious career and kids. i just know that about myself, so i don't even want to bother. i also don't have any interests right now that i would want to pursue as a serious career, so that is probably part of it.
ReplyDelete